Queen of wishful thinking

Follow me here.

Suzy Q — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 00:36:19 +0000

This one is done. I might close it soon, don’t need everyone to know about the almost huge downfall of Miss Q over some guy. Bleh! Hahahaha!

suzyqrox78.wordpress.com

And if I’m asleep..

Suzy Q — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 17:48:50 +0000

Make sure my blanket covers me, yeah! …. Hmm I don’t want to get ahead of myself. But there was awesomeness in the air last night, or this morning. XO, Sofia!

P.S. I’m feeling better, all I needed was a great night out! Lol. Still sicky, not too bad though..

Doctor, help..

Suzy Q — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 00:52:24 +0000

I’m looking up my symptoms and it keeps bringing up the same 3 things.. They’re horrible.. And all i can think about is..

I don’t want to die.

I’m scared.

I don’t have money to go to the doctor.

Now I really want to say fuck my life.

I pray I’m over-reacting.

Peculiar..

Suzy Q — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 23:03:57 +0000

that I feel this way. Getting pretty close to feeling empty, running on empty. Everyday I want to leave more than the last. Why do I feel like San An will cure me? Maybe cause it will help me, maybe I will find part of my happiness there. I can only hope huh. I hope soon someone can save me. Everything is dwindling; my hope, love in my heart… I hope to leave soon, I cannot take this anymore. This is not cool.

“So give me something to believe..

Suzy Q — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 16:07:53 +0000

Cause I am living just to breathe.”

Yes, I’m back here again. I can never make anybody happy. I was once happy, but that time seems so long ago. When people were simpler, boys and friends were simpler, even my family was simpler; to please. Now its all screwed up and I want to leave. Why is it that I’m always the one on the receiving end of all the bullshit.. I give my all to everyone and I get walked on like I’m dirt. I’m the bad person in the equation, the one that doesn’t fit, the one that makes the worst mistakes, the one that doesn’t make an effort to make things better.. I always have to apologize because apparently I’m the only one that makes mistakes. Everyone seems to forget how I have been there for them, that I don’t judge, and will always be there.. I guess I’m just pathetic. I guess everyone else is right about me. I guess I will never be first again. Maybe not in this town, I need to leave asap…

Don’t be mad at me..

Suzy Q — Thu, 13 May 2010 02:02:43 +0000

I did what I did because I had to. Don’t take it to heart, why not start over again? Let’s forget about what we can’t change and work on this new ‘us’. The possibilities of what we can do are endless. Let’s not limit ourselves just now, as we did before, nothing good comes from it. I miss you, I think about you, why can’t that be enough for now? I’m true to my word, I’m honest, you know that I’ll tell you anything if you ask me.. Think about it punk, for me yes? And you don’t have to answer right away, take your time.. I’m patient too remember that lol

I have to get a 100

Suzy Q — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 03:48:05 +0000

on the rest of these tests this semester. I must pass, and the way I figured it, I MUST get 100% on each and every one to be able to pass with a C. I messed up again. I cannot backtrack, my professors do not allow it and there is nothing else I can do. I fucked up, Im facing the consequences and there is absolutely nothing else I can do but push forward with my absolute BEST! I WILL, I WILL, I WILL, I WILL, I WILL, I WILL, I WILL!!!!!!! There is no point in getting mad, upset, sad, angry, depressed or any other bad feeling I have against myself. What is done cannot be undone and my actions far speak louder than words. I will not lose hope or faith. Please help me God. I am stuck in the middle of this road, you know where I am, I have to find the strength to go elsewhere. I am trying my best to be a better person, I get distracted so easily. ..

“Dame Fe! Dame Alas! Dame Fuerzas, para sobrevivir en este mundo.”

I finally understand

Suzy Q — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 00:43:42 +0000

When people say, “When all is said and done.” Ive poured my heart and soul into something that is completely gone. Wasted energy. Now directing energy elsewhere, please hold… = ) Haha. Anyways well, that’s done. Moving on; I have been failing at school, not bueno. I haven’t told anyone because I think I still have time to pull my grades up. I stink at this. I cannot fail again. Its just that I get sidetracked by all the helter skelter going on. But not anymore. Im going to save this semester at any cost! Too legit to quit. Lol. On another note. I talked to him. I just didn’t agree with how things were going and it all sounded too fucking familiar, like me n Jesso. And that’s the last thing I wanted. I dont know if I believe him or not but he said he told me the truth. I want to believe that, I really do, but after all the lies I have been told the truth is hard to discern. But that is out of my system and we will see how things go from here. Im going to go finish my research paper, cause I must and I will! Pray that I get strength to get through tonight, tomorrow and maybe Monday will be a better day. As soon as I disregard all these ordeals, I should be just great and dandy!

“I know where I wanna go! But I just dont know, just dont know how to get there!”

You burned a whole in my heart..

Suzy Q — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 01:23:35 +0000

And these songs will always make me ache.

Hands down, Dashboard Confessional. Stories, Trapt. I’ll fly with you, Gigi D’Agostino. Would you go with me – Your Man, Josh Turner. With or without you, U2. 3 Libras, A Perfect Circle. Everytime I look for you – Always – Miss you – Feeling This – Roller Coaster – M+M’s, Blink-182. More than words, Extreme. Elva – Rest of my Life, Unwritten Law. Epiphany, Staind. Buried myself alive, Smother Me – The Used.

Out of the Blue

Suzy Q — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:01:38 +0000

Somewhere along the way
My hopefulness turned to sadness

Somewhere along the way
My sadness turned to bitterness

Somewhere along the way
My bitterness turned to anger

Somewhere along the way
My anger turned to vengeance

And the ones that I made pay
Were never the ones who deserved it.

And the ones who deserved it
They’ll never understand it.

Yes, I know I’m going to hell in a purple basket
Least I’ll be in another world
While you’re pissing on my casket.